This letter is a funny letter to let your family know that you're absolutely, positively not engaging in any wild social activity while away at school.
1234, Main Street
Boston, MA 02123
09 April, 2005
<Recipient Address Goes Here>
I think it's time to dispel a vicious rumor that's been going around. Contrary to popular belief, the students at <college name> are not nor have they ever been engaged in any social activities that could be referred to by the debased term, "partying." We, and I, find such a suggestion insulting and slanderous. We do have a social life here at <college name>. It consists primarily of study groups, folk singing around the fire, afternoon teas, and cotillions which are supervised by a cadre of sexually repressed professors. Personally, I don't even know the meaning of terms like "beer bong," "toga," and "Macarena," though I suspect the last is something you eat with cheese. I hope this clears up this matter before any damage is done.
encl: <List of enclosed items goes here>